I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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