His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We are all done wearing pants today
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
