is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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