sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
