Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Alive.
So much puke
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
