Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
