I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
