you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
