I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
