She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
where are my eyebrows?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
