I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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