I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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