Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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