bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
where does the pee come out of this thing
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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