I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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