I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
