No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
