So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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