Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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