Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize