I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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