false alarm. still invincible.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize