It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
