Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
50% drunk capacity currently
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
