Do vagina's smell?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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