is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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