He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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