He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
