I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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