In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
