eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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