I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
