i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
