I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
