Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
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