you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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