McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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