So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
