I want to walk on stilts...naked
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
only if we run a train.
done.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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