so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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