Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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