For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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