I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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