You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize