Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
two words...techno handjob
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your penis caused this!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
