You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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