I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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