just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
