Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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