I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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