i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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