I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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