Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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