Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
