Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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