Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
