are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize