its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
