Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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