yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I want to be your penis for a week.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
