i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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