plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
