Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
