You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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