Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Damn victory sex feels great
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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