my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
