i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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