Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
