I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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