I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
