you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
