Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
