hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize