Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
