I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
