you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
